Uncontrollable Sadness

Lately, I've been wondering if it's really true that it is impossible for me to write happy poetry. I used to, sometimes, in Finnish, and I have some saved here and there to prove that. But strangely enough, I cannot recall any in English that had not been somehow sad or dark. I mean, I wrote one the other day that was not all that bad, but even that one had some darkness in it. (It ends with the words 'but whose painful weeping hides us out of sight'.)

Alternative Possibilities?

Recently I've been rather absent from the blog and the site and whatnot. I've been writing poems, tho, and new chapters for Sparks to Flames, it's just that I don't feel the site's the most important place for my stories and poems anymore, especially since there's hardly ever any visitors. I mean, yes, I mainly write for myself, but if I put the texts out there it would be nice to get some feedback as well.
So what I've been thinking here is that maybe I should take the site down. I've had it and kept it more or less alive since I was 17, and maybe it would be a good time now to let it go.

Moving On

Something quite interesting happened here. I was about to write a blog post about how I've been only writing  poetry for a while, when I suddenly started doing other things as well... While writing the post, of course. Anyway, here goes.

I've been focusing a lot now on my poetry, writing in both Finnish and English. One reason for this is simply the fact that I'm so terribly busy with school work, and whenever I'm not wasting my time on that, I want to relax and let my mind cool off for a while. This doesn't work out that well, though, since I have actually not been this inspired for... Well, for a long time now.

Now, Still, I Love You

It seems to me, that my poems usually tend to be rather short. So when I happen to write something longer, it always sort of surprises me. Yesterday, I suddenly had a line pop up in my head, and thought about writing a little poem around it. The thing is, it was really difficult to stop writing, once I'd started, and the poem just grew and grew, which I obviously wasn't expecting.
Anyhow, it wouldn't make much sense as a story, if it was any shorter. Actually, it might not hurt to add to it, but now that it's finished, I would rather not touch it again. I already altered it in three different occasions, which is more than basically ever.

A Cat on the Window Sill

As is customary, after having decided on taking a short break from writing and whatever can be linked to it, my inspiration levels got high up, and I've been having a hard time fighting with it. I've been supposed to focus on having the apartment in condition for hosting quests and for leaving it empty for a while when we are gone out for holidays. Now I finally gave up, though, and took a look at the first ever story I published in Antold Story; A Cat on the Window Sill. Now, this story is in Finnish, obviously, but this is the actual title. And it has nothing to do with cats, really.
Anyhow, to the actual point then. I've decided to use this as my first ever re-writing project.

Break from Updates

I've been taking a bit of a break from the stories and the site now, mostly because I've been preoccupied with other things. Also, I was rather active a while back, and when that happens, I often use all my inspiration in such a short time I need a while to get it back again. I will try to get back on the horse shortly, possibly writing something during the vacation, but I cannot promise anything, not even to myself. As you might know, I am currently working on a few translation projects and writing itself as well, and also trying to create a new layout for the site. The problem is, as usual, that as I do not get much feedback from any of it, it tends to stretch, and then I find it again some time later and have already lost all interest myself.

Another reason for the break was to observe more closely the possible visitors, and quietly wait for some comments on anything. Well, this didn't happen, which greatly pains me, since I know that there are, actually, people visiting (and I assume reading my writings as well), but no one ever says anything. Which sort of makes it not feel very worth it to publish anything either here on the blog or on the site. I will not stop, of course, but the result might be that there will be some less activity, as there had been earlier for a long time. If anyone has any objections to this, feel free to rant.. ;)

I Am Man's Wolf

So, I've been writing a story for quite some time now (since early 2010), in Finnish, and I finally thought it deserved to be translated. The name is, as the title of this post indicates, I Am Man's Wolf. Now, I might still tweak it a bit, since I don't personally like it very much.
The name, of course, comes from the latin phrase 'Homo homini lupus', and I've loved that sentence (the way it sounds like in Finnish) ever since I first heard it when I was young, and when I had the idea to the story, which I most likely got from an old fairy tale or similar, I knew it would be the perfect title. However, I didn't want to use exactly that one, so I changed it to 'I am' man's wolf.

The Adding of Sparks to Flames

Today I've finally made the decision of adding my newest darling Sparks to Flames to Antold Story. The problem is that I will not be able to do this in order, as I have mentioned in the previous post about the story, since I am currently in the process of writing it, and I'm doing this bit by bit, in the order the pieces decide to arrive.

Language Preferences

It has been bothering me for a while now that I'm not able to really commit to only one language when I write. I would basically enjoy more doing it in Finnish, since I can use a wider vocabulary and it allows me to play with the words in a whole different way. The advantage in writing in English, though, is that I can show it to people and get some sort of feedback.
This leads to another problem: what if I write a book, could I translate it myself? I don't think I've heard of really anyone who'd done this, but then again, I would really rather do it myself, since might be that someone else would get the actual meanings all wrong.

On Piracy

Ok, so, first of all let's make it clear that, as I've mentioned in the past within some context in the site, I'm all for copyrights, and I think that they should be respected. The thing is, there is a limit to everything, and to me it lies more or less on the point after which someone tries to start telling people what they can and cannot do on their free time, as in, that they could not visit certain sites on the internet and so on.

You Changed So Suddenly

For about a year now, I've been working on a project - in Finnish, unfortunately, so I have absolutely no one to show it to - that's become one of my longest. However, it is the one that I already mentioned, which I had all figured out and then completely run out of inspiration, since it was not inspiration-driven project anymore. I started feeling like the whole idea was stupid, I didn't like the way I had written it, all the details of this and that seemed out of place and useless, the plot and other things in it seemed imagined, not to pertain to the real world at all. Even the names were ridiculous to me.

The Publisher Bug

I was logging into my FictionPress account a while ago, to see if any lost soul might have wondered away from the mainstream and on my poems (which they hadn't), and happened to notice some interesting ads on the top of the page. 'Have you written a book?' and 'Find a publisher now' -sort of things. So I opened some of them and saw that they were about self publishing.

Summer Vacations

Yes, it is finally here, the summer vacation! Well, I still have to pay a visit to a teacher sometime next week, but at last the constant flow of essays, projects, tests and homework has ended. At first I felt like I could never make it through it, but now, well.. It wasn't as bad as I first thought. :)
Anyhow, the main reason for the joy - because, understand it or not, I actually do like to go to school and study (which implies seeing friends and having something intelligent to do everyday as well) - is that I will now have more time to try and write! I have been so focused on writing essays, some of which, actually, I'm quite proud of, that I haven't been able to write anything else.

What It Feels Like to Write

Every time I write a story or a poem, especially if it's something more personal, I get a weird feeling I have never really been able to explain. I even get it sometimes after writing an entry here, on the blog, if the entry is something personal, or something I haven't realized before actually putting it down in words.
I know that some people really work on their writings, correcting them and changing them in one way or another, but for me, even correcting spelling mistakes is sometimes difficult.
I often stay silent for a long while thinking about the video where Elizabeth Gilbert talks about inspiration and genius (I posted the link in a previous post somewhere), and how it applies to me. None of the things she said, basically, ring exactly true to me.

Long or Short

For me, it has always been difficult to finish what I've started. This has applied to everything in life; hobbies, books, cleaning the room... Everything. Especially when it comes to writing stories.
I would always prefer to write short, one piece stories, since there's about a 70% chance that any longer project will be abandoned at any given moment after the original inspiration has worn off. The problem is that, quite often, the ideas I have would not fit in a single piece story, and the only option is to make it an 'on going', even if I dump it after a couple of pages. My computer is filled with unfinished stories.

Unexpected Epiphany

So, today I had a test for the course of American Short Story I've been taking this semester in the University. This caused me to read a lot of short stories last night, and, therefore, set my mind in a mood of arts and creating and inspiration and all that sort of uselessness when trying to study. Anyhow, this is not the main issue. The main issue is what happened after the test.

Meet Me at the Docks

"Meet Me at the Docks at 11 When the Rain Starts to Fall" is, despite the huge name, a very short text I added to Antold Story a while back.
A friend of mine pointed out the lack of information about the story here on the blog today, and because of this - and the fact that I honestly have forgotten to give more insight to the text - I will clarify a thing or two now.

Roses and Violets

I think I said in a previous post that I would give some sort of an account on what the new on going story I added on the site is all about. So here goes:

Josh is a handsome young man desperately in love with his best friend's girlfriend, Violet. Even if Mark, the best friend, knows about this, he refuses to regard it as important, and instead hooks Josh up with one blind date after another. The most recent one; Remy, a wild quirky brunette, who hides a grand crush towards Mark.

Green Lantern

Now, I know that this might not seem like the right place to talk about it, but if you think for a little while, you'll see two obvious connections: comic books are literature, and my own stories often include gay characters. (Don't forget that in the beginning I divided the stories exactly based on the gay/straight division.)

The thing is that I read some interesting news today, namely that the DC Comics superhero Green Lantern is announced gay.

Important Additions

Oh my, I'm feeling so productive right now... Is it such a surprise, though, it's 3 in the morning. :)
I found some interesting stories on my computer that I haven't, for a reason or another, yet put on the site, but well, now they're there! I put one short shortie in Finnish to the Rayne -section, and added two first chapters of a new ongoing story called "Roses and Violets". I will give a brief intro on this later. Here's a sneak peek, though:

Poetic Decisions

I decided to put at least one of the poems of Sparks to Flames to the site, and therefore had to make a whole new section for poetry! Oh, how good it feels to expand the site like that!

Sparks to Flames

Let it be officially announced that I have started yet another bigger project. Maybe this time I will be able to actually finish it as well. It might be easier, though, since this one is not just a story; it will be written in prose, poetry and something in between. If I get fed up with writing only prose, I can whip out a piece of poetry instead, and the other way around. And if I feel particularly creative, I can do those pretty little 'in between' parts, which is definitely my favourite way to write.